Breathe Me
by Sebastian Shuu
Summary: Suicide. Self-harm slightly. Character death. One-shot. OC


Breathe Me

Hello everyone! So today is a one shot I wrote between William and Grell. I personally have no like towards William so I felt like I'd make William a mean guy but if anyone has a problem with that feel free to leave now. DUBAI! (Tyler Oakley Reference for the win!) Anywho as you can guess this is a song fic and the song is Breathe Me by Sia. And here we go kiddies so get some tissues.

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler

* * *

Grell rolled over onto his side, sliding his hand through the sheets looking for his lover. But all he found was cold sheets next to him. His eyes opened slowly so as to not hurt them with the harsh sunlight all at once. William had left again and it was long ago that he had. Grell sighed as he slipped his glasses onto his face rather slowly which was odd for the normally rambunctious red head.

Gathering his clothes, Grell got dressed for work slowly making sure that everything was in order from his red and black high heels to his mane of fiery red hair. Naturally you would think he would go back to his usual self but something was off today judging by the way Grell put his hair in a loose ponytail and his tie was perfectly tied. But when you thought everything was normal it was not because the Reaper in Red was now dressed like everyone else, a black suit but he kept his heels. Before putting his jacket on, Grell stared at himself in the mirror holding his scythe from the academy in his hand.

"No more." he whispers before slicing the ponytail from his head. The bundle fell to the floor in a heap as the reaper's red hair fell back down to a very short style, shorter than when he was a student. Gone was Grell the Reaper in Red and Grell Sutcliff was the one to replace him. Grabbing William's gel, he spiked the front end of his hair up and comb the back of his head to lay flat.

Grell put on his jacket and opened a portal to the Dispatch's Reaper Tool Department.

* * *

"Whoa is that you Grell?" the desk lady asked in shock as he placed the paper work in front of her in a silence. "Yes it is now could you please hurry before I'm late." he spits out rather heatedly tapping his left foot. She was shocked but did as he asked, stamping the paper with and 'APPROVE' on it before asking for someone to retrieve the new weapon. As many others passed, whispers echoed in Grell's ears as each person passed by, irritating the man even further. "Here you are Ms. Sutcliff." the woman says politely handing the new tool to the reaper. A traditional scythe, similar to that of the Undertaker's, was in Grell's hands at the moment which made him smile slightly. "And it's Mr. ma'am." Grell corrects before heading for work leaving the woman stunned speechless.

"Wil- I mean Supervisor Spears, sorry I am late I had to make some last minute changes to my scythe." Grell says, stepping into William's office very quietly before standing in front of him. "Sutcliff that is fine." he replies, scrawling his signature across papers. "Your assignments are on your desk waiting to be filled out and returned to my desk before the end of your shift. Am I clear?" "Yes sir." he replies before leaving brisquley through the door. William paused and looked up, very confused. 'Was that Sutcliff?' He got up before sticking his head out his office, but Grell was long gone.

* * *

Before Grell knew it all his reapings were completed and he had an hour before he got off work. Grabbing the massive stack of paperwork, Grell walked to William's office quickly, so as to avoid conversation with anyone. He knocked on William's door, moments passed before he heard a "Come in." Setting the paperwork down, Grell stood still, "All my work is done." William ooked to the stack before him with a open mouth, "thank you Sutcliff. You may retire for the day." But Grell stayed, "Will can I ask you something?" William sighed, "What Grell?" "Do you love me?"

The question hung in the air like a ton of bricks waiting to be answered. "No I do not love you." William says very coldly. Grell's eyes welled up with tears, "Then why do you sleep with me?" William sighs, "Because you are willing to open your legs for any man you meet." That hurt, and William knew damn well he took Grell's virginity! "How can you say that William!? You know I wouldn't do that!" Grell shouts, the tears falling more rapidly now. William scowls, "I say it because it is true! Michaelis! Faustus! Myself! Knox! Slingby! Need I continue?" Grell was fired up now, "I have not slept with anyone besides you! You blithering idiot! I love you! I loved you William and I only ever slept with you." His voice had lowered the more he spoke but the pain grew more and more. "Get out of my office before I lose my temper." William growls threateningly. Grell summoned his scythe at an instant by instinct of being threatened, "Do not threaten me. Your supervisor is right down the hall." "Tch. Get out." he says, returning to his paperwork.

The door slammed and Grell was gone, leaving William in utter silence.

* * *

Grell closed and locked his door before sliding down it in a heap of emotions. 'I'm so over this. i can't take it anymore.' He thinks to himself, finally making his decision. He got up and walked to his kitchen, retrieving a pad of paper and a pen before sitting at the island.

Dear William,

I can't do this anymore. I can't. You use me in the most intimate ways possible and throw me away when you are done. And I can't leave you because you'd just hurt me more. I'm done. You will never have me again, I can promise you that!

Goodbye...

Leaving the note on the counter top, Grell walks to his room and closes and locks the door before turning on his stereo to drown out the world.

*Deep Breath*  
Help  
I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

He undresses slowly as he cries more, leaving each piece of clothing on his bed till he was wearing only his pants. "This is the end." he says quietly as he steps into the bathroom closing the door, his last door.

Be my friend  
Hold me  
Wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

Grell draws a bath, filling it with lavender scents and rose water, things he loved with all his heart. His cellphone rings, notifying Grell of a text from Alan. "Hey wanna go out tonight?" 'No I'm staying home. William is coming over for dinner.' He sighs placing his phone back on the counter, turning it off. He turns the faucets off, stripping into nothing before climbing into his tub.

Ouch!  
I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I'm no where to be found  
Yeah, I think I might break  
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Grell sits in the water soaking, before grabbing his scythe from the floor.

Be my friend  
Hold me  
Wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small

Grell slices into his thigh, the cold emotionless blade cutting into pale flesh slowly. "Not enough." he says, blood seeping from the wound and into the water.

I am needy  
Warm me up  
And breath me  
Be my friend  
Hold me  
Wrap me up

That was the last straw; without hesitation Grell slit his wrists, dropping the scythe on the floor as his breath became sharp. Blood poured from his wrists and into the water as he cried more and more.

Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me...

The lyrics drifted into pure music as Grell took his final breaths. His emotions were gone. Breathing became labored. The fire of the cuts were dull as the blood pulsed from the wounds. The song came to a close as Grell Sutcliff took his final breath.

"The deadly efficient...Grim Reaper...and Barnett...Butler...Grell...Sutcliff..." Then there was nothing but utter black and that was the end of Grell Sutcliff.

* * *

William's POV

I walked up the stairs to Grell's apartment in a button up and slacks, carrying a bouquet of his favorite flower, roses. Pulling out my keys, I open the door swiftly before calling out, "Grell?" Music was playing loudly in his room which wasn't unusual so I figure he must be showering. In truth I did love Grell, so much but I couldn't tell him that otherwise I'd never get anything done. I walk into the kitchen to get a tall glass for his flowers and filling it with water and roses, placing them on the island before heading for his room. It was locked. "Grell!?" I shout trying to see if he would hear me over the music; nothing. I walk back into the kitchen and sit at the island when I notice a pad and pen sitting on the counter. Curious, I pull the pad to me and read Grell's tidy writing. The words scared me and I started to panic as I ran back to his door kicking it down in one swift motion. I rush to the bathroom door and start pounding hard and fast, screaming, "GRELL PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE GOD DON'T! I LOVE YOU GRELL SUTCLIFF! PLEASE I'M SO SORRY! GRELL!" I continue pounding until I kick the door and break the lock, bursting in on the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life.

Grell was in the bathtub of bloody water smelling of copper, lavender, and roses. He slit his wrists but with what I didn't know, all I cared about was whether or not he was dead. I pull him from the sticky water crying out to him, "Grell? Please. Don't go." I cradled him in my arms, tears falling down my face as I called Alan, desperately trying to make this dream go away. "Will? What's up?" Alan asked in a concerned tone. "Grell is dead." I choke out before dropping the phone and letting out a scream as I clutched him to my chest.

"Please. I love you." I whisper over and over rocking my lover and I back and forth as I cried hysterically.

* * *

Grell Sutcliff was buried three days later in the Reaper cemetery a few short minutes away from the Dispatch. William, The Undertaker, Eric, Alan, Ronald, and Sebastian (Of all people) were present when he was buried. William chose roses to place on the coffin when all was said and done. The Undertaker finished placing the earth back into the hole that held Grell snugly. William sank to his knees at the end of the plot as the tombstone was placed at the head of it.

It read:

Here lies Grell Sutcliff A friend and a lover RIP

"Goodbye Grell. I love you." William whispers placing his lover's glasses on the top of the tombstone as his final farewell.

Years passed and with each one William grew more and more depressed. It was at least 20 years later when the Dispatch buried William next to Grell, going out the same way his lover had, suicide. And even more years passed before they were long forgotten.


End file.
